One of the least of these...

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Matt 15:40

The attitude I try to have in Haiti is letting go of any expectation, crossing over any limits I think I have and overcome any fears that come my way. (I failed at the fear part when we saw a tarantula this morning. Praise God for brave cooks who kill spiders). J

We started the day by going to Gertrude’s, an orphanage for children with special needs. Christine was a little toddler that walked towards me and didn’t let go of me for one second (pictures will come eventually; we’ve had some difficulties with our photos). She was so hungry for love and I gave her all the love I could for the time we were there. I could talk a lot about Gertrude’s but there’s a different story I want to focus on today.

In the afternoon we were supposed to go to the general hospital but often time plans change in Haiti. We instead went to the hospital for sick and dying babies. That was my breaking point last trip and wasn’t sure what to expect this time.

As I started walking through the cribs I was waiting for God’s tug on my heart for one specific baby. It’s always so hard to choose one to hold… I usually go to the quiet ones, knowing that those are the babies that are held the least. All the way in the back corner, there was this precious angel that was lying in her crib without moving. As I got closer I noticed lots of ants crawling all over her little face. She was trying to scratch her face but she didn’t have enough strength. I started cleaning the ants off her and as I was doing that, I noticed her genitals were covered in open wounds and tens of ants were crawling all over her. In panic mode I pointed to one of the nurses who didn’t look surprised at all. She came, turned the girl on her tummy, revealing even more open wounds and told me she is sick and I have to leave her alone. And that was it! That was all I could do.

I had to walk away from a helpless little angels, who must have been in pain and uncomfortable… A baby girl who probably hasn’t been held in a very long time. A baby girl starved for love and human touch. And all I could fell was pain. So much pain! I had to walk outside, I was losing it.  That place breaks me every time.

With each tear I’ve shed today God has, once again, confirmed that I am exactly where I need to be. This is what I was created for.

I am still processing this experience. I found a little boy I held for the rest of the time we were there. One who grabbed on to me with a lot of strength and was determined not to let go. I melt when faced with a child so desperate for love, attention and human touch. And I pray that as I hold them, kiss them and play with them I can give them a glimpse of Christ's love for them. 

It was hard to let go. It was heart breaking not being able to do more. But I know there's a reason why I was there today, seeing this little girl. And I will keep praying that God continues to open my eyes to everything He's got in store for me. I will continue to pray that I will be filled to the measure with the fullness of Christ, that I learn to listen to God's voice, leading me to do His will. And nothing more! 

Please pray as I am trying to make sense of everything...
Bianca

T E A M

God has taken my outlook on the word TEAM to his calling and no more of my own! Hand picked, everyone on this team is here for a specific reason overflowing my heart with pure Joy! As our hearts break together, as our eyes are fixed on Him, our hands feeling His creation, our feet walking for Jesus and Him alone, and our words speaking His love and true grace that only He can give us...We are making up the body of Christ. Have you ever felt so close to Christ you could just reach out and touch His face? I can...right now.

<3
Cne'

"As we handle the sick and needy we touch the suffering body of Christ and this touch will make us heroic; it will make us forget the repugnance and the natural tendencies in us. We need the eyes of deep faith to see Christ in the broken body and dirty clothes under which the most beautiful one among the sons of men hides. We shall need the hands of Christ to touch these bodies wounded by pain and suffering. Intense love does not measure - it just gives."

-Mother Teresa-

Mwen grangou= I am hungry!

Nothing I will write here will do justice to the way I feel… But here’s my attempt to showing you my broken heart.

Today was water truck day.  What broke my heart today wasn’t the garbage we were surrounded by, it wasn’t the little children walking on rocks and glass barefoot, it wasn’t the strong smell of sewer and garbage that almost made me gag, it wasn't seeing a little cat that was some day going to be someone's dinner...(I love animals)

It was one statement from a little boy saying “Mwen grangou! (I am hungry!)”

Two simple words in Haitian that shredded my heart to pieces, yet again. I could do nothing! Absolutely nothing about this little child being hungry. So many of them are constantly hungry and we just can’t meet all that need.

I can’t help but wonder when is the last time some of these people didn’t feel hungry? When did they eat their last meal? And how can I feel so heartbroken about all this now and go back to my life in US and throw away even an ounce of food? Do we even know what being hungry really means? I don’t know about you but when I am hungry, I eat. That is not often an option for a lot of the people here.

God, what are you trying to teach me??? What is my part in all this??? Open my eyes, break my heart, use me for Your glory!!

And so today I loved on these kids like never before. I held them, spun them around, sang with them, danced with them and kissed them like never before. I didn’t care they were dirty and naked…all I cared about was the little hands stretched up high, the little eyes filled with pain, their little frail bodies, often times covered with small or big wounds. For a few minutes I tried to make them feel like they were the most important in the world because when I was holding them, they were the most important in the world, to me!

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  Please continue to pray as tomorrow we will be going to a new hospital. Prayers for God’s protection, for us to stay healthy, for courage to serve in circumstances that will most likely take us far outside our comfort zone. We are here to be His hands and feet. Pray for the strength to do just that.

To God be the glory!!

Bianca

Mwen grangou= I am hungry!

Nothing I will write here will do justice to the way I feel… But here’s my attempt to showing you my broken heart.

Today was water truck day.  What broke my heart today wasn’t the garbage we were surrounded by, it wasn’t the little children walking on rocks and glass barefoot, it wasn’t the strong smell of sewer and garbage that almost made me gag, it wasn't seeing a little cat that was some day going to be someone's dinner...(I love animals)

It was one statement from a little boy saying “Mwen grangou! (I am hungry!)”

Two simple words in Haitian that shredded my heart to pieces, yet again. I could do nothing! Absolutely nothing about this little child being hungry. So many of them are constantly hungry and we just can’t meet all that need.

I can’t help but wonder when is the last time some of these people didn’t feel hungry? When did they eat their last meal? And how can I feel so heartbroken about all this now and go back to my life in US and throw away even an ounce of food? Do we even know what being hungry really means? I don’t know about you but when I am hungry, I eat. That is not often an option for a lot of the people here.

God, what are you trying to teach me??? What is my part in all this??? Open my eyes, break my heart, use me for Your glory!!

And so today I loved on these kids like never before. I held them, spun them around, sang with them, danced with them and kissed them like never before. I didn’t care they were dirty and naked…all I cared about was the little hands stretched up high, the little eyes filled with pain, their little frail bodies, often times covered with small or big wounds. For a few minutes I tried to make them feel like they were the most important in the world because when I was holding them, they were the most important in the world, to me!

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  Please continue to pray as tomorrow we will be going to a new hospital. Prayers for God’s protection, for us to stay healthy, for courage to serve in circumstances that will most likely take us far outside our comfort zone. We are here to be His hands and feet. Pray for the strength to do just that.

To God be the glory!!

Day 1: Grateful!!

My word of the day is gratefulness. My heart is overflowing with gratefulness today!!!

For years I have been praying for God to reveal my passion to me, my purpose and His will for my life. When I came to Haiti, just three months ago, it was obvious from the first day that I had found my passion. I spent a week in Haiti that shredded my heart to pieces; a week that was filled with heart ache, joy, love, compassion and revelation of my holy discontent.  

And today, I am privileged to be back on Haitian ground. As soon as we got to the guesthouse we were pleasantly surprised when our translator and our driver took us on a walk around the neighborhood (due to safety reasons we don’t always get this privilege). The neighborhood children joined us on our walk right away. Toulsy is a 12 year old boy that walked by my side and helped me learn a little bit of Creole. What a joy was it to see the smiling faces of these amazing people!!!

As we were walking, Toulsy pointed to one of his friends and told me that his parents have both died and that he can’t afford to attend school. The little boy asked one of my team mates if she would be his mom.

It’s times like this that break my heart…Thinking of a little boy who doesn’t have anyone to call mom and dad, a boy who watches his friends every morning heading out to school as he is left behind, a boy with a desire to grow and potential that might never be revealed just because he was born in Haiti and his parents have passed away.  Did he just happen to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time God?

And then God reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11:For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (The verse is written on the back of the Tap Tap we travel in while in Haiti- how convenient! Grateful when He speaks so clearly!!)

One of the things I love most about Haiti is that these people get it. This life is not the end of the story. The destination is a wonderful place that Jesus is preparing for us. And they hold on to that hope every day. What a reward will they receive in Heaven!!!

Thank you God for a beautiful ending: eternity in a place with no sorrow, no pain and no mourning. To God be the glory! And give us strength Papa to hold on to this hope every moment of our lives! 

Day 5. Familiar Places

Water Stops--Today we did two water truck stops, one of them we hadn't been there to yet this week. Today the need for water seemed to be more than two days ago as the lines were longer. We also ran out of water at the last stop. We loved on the kids and helped fill buckets. It is always amazing to see the strength of the young girls and women as they carry these 5 gallon buckets to their home, mostly on their heads.


Home for Sick and Dying.
We visited the Home for the Sick and Dying again today. All of us were happy to have the chance to revisit our babies that we made friendships with a few days ago. The babies seemed to recognize us, and reached their arms out right away for us to pick them up, feed them and give them more love.

Day 4. Thursday - A Day of Firsts!

Attended service at the tent church at 6am...a glorious way to start the day!

We were the 1st team ever to visit Redempter School. During our visit, we handed out 600 pieces of bubble gum...it was a hit, despite the fact that we were rather disruptive to the entire school.

As you can see, John fit right in with the kindergartners.....

On the back of the Kubato (all terrain ATV) as we prepare to visit the elderly.

The gentleman in the fore front (with the glasses) is Coco, who is the freelance journalist from Paris, France. He has been an "honorary" team member since we arrived in Haiti and is capturing our mission in photo format. He hopes the article he writes from the trip will eventually lead to a book. The best part is, he has agreed to share his photos with the entire team. On an average, he snaps nearly 500 pictures per day!!

We would love to introduce you to Elie. He is the newest addition to the Healing Haiti ElderCare program. He is severly malnourished and dehydrated and sleeps on a sheet on the dirt floor. We delivered his first meals on wheels today. We brought him sardines, applesauce and water. We also, as a team pitched in to purchase him a matress and pillow so he no longer needs to sleep on the dirt floor. Praise God that he allows us to be his hands and feet to this man!!!

Upon arriving at Elie's house John was once again drawn to his granddaughters 7 month old son. The men all later went and filled 7 buckets from a nearby well to provide the family with 35 gallons of fresh water. John's timing was perfect as this young boy later proceeded to pee on Jenna one of our team members.

Team photo at the ocean.

The mass burial memorial. It has been 3 years since the devastating earthquake. It is on this spot where 300,000 Haitian's are buried in a mass grave following the quake.

On the way back to the guest house. Tired, emotionally spent....yet so filled with all the blessings from the day.

Haiti Day 3 - San Fill Home for Sick and Dying and the Wound Clinic

Today was day three in Haiti and a day completely out of my comfort zone.

The first stop of the day was the home for sick and dying in San Fill. We separated the team by men and women. Men went to serve the guys in the clinic. Women went upstairs to serve the women.

We brought lotion and nail polish. We spent time in three different rooms. We would massage each woman with lotion and then if she wanted her finger or toe nails painted we would paint them. Since I am not a skilled polisher, I chose to massage. I would massage their arms, legs, hands, feet and back. In some cases the women would roll over and want me to massage her boobies and stomach. I wasn't comfortable with it at first, but then I realized that these women need love. So I would massage the upper part of her chest and then under her breasts. All I kept thinking about was what Jesus said, "What you do for the least of them you do for me".

Tuesday: Day 2--The Water Truck

We woke to the smell of pancakes, oatmeal, mangos...a fabulous start to a day like no other for many of us. This was my first journey into the area devastated by the earthquake three years ago still reeling from the loss of life and home. After a dusty and bumpy ride in the tap tap to the water filling station, we followed the tanker to our first stop, 17, in Cite Soleil. 17 is a shantytown where survival is a daily challenge. Conditions are deplorable, yet our arrival brought many smiles, hugs and thank yous. I helped man the bucket brigade and the hose as we filled many buckets to overflowing while treating some of the young ones to impromptu showers. If I wasn't holding a hose or a bucket, I was holding and hugging a beautiful, smiling child (or two)! The expectation on these water runs is that there will be plenty of loving going around for anyone seeking it.

Brunet and Wilson, two of the staff members, led us on a brief hike to a squalid peninsula in the bay where what might have been a beautiful beach had become a burial ground and garbage dump. Despite the horror around us, the children who had hiked with us responded with smiles, leaps of joy and sheer excitement when Wilson led us all in a song of praise.  The song of praise led into a time of prayer where we asked God to bless these children and their community.

Next, we went back to the water pump station to refill the truck before heading to our next stop--Kat Coffin. More water buckets, more hugs, more love.

Finally we headed to a tent city, a first for even the returnees in our group. It was a different experience as we witnessed men being more involved in carrying the water and caring for the children. A particularly poignant moment was when some of us were summoned to trek up a dusty and rocky corridor up to a shack where a mother had requested prayer for her ailing baby. She was grateful for the prayers lifted up on behalf of her child. The need is so great. We feel so inadequate. But we remind each other often that we are His hands and feet. At our morning devotion, Jeff read a selection from Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling," which stayed with me throughout this heart-wrenching but fulfilling day: "As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gaze too long at the myriad problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out "Help me, Jesus!" and I will lift you up."

After a spaghetti dinner with--are you ready?--hot dog slivers as a topping, we shared in our daily "Word of the Day." My word was "fulfilling." How could I not be challenged, uplifted and blessed by having the opportunity to be a part of Healing Haiti's outreach? 

Some of the group settled in on the guesthouse couch. Others sat outside under the stars. The true soldiers practiced salsa dancing under the tutelage of master salsa teacher, Jean. I am proud to say, that I was one of those soldiers!  

--Ken Holvig

Arriving in Haiti

We made it! Our team is safely in Haiti.

We met this morning at the Minneapolis airport at 3:45 a.m. We had 22 bags we were checking, plus our own personal carry-on bags. The checked bags contain much needed shoes, clothes, baby formula, diapers and medical supplies. After a short time at the airport, we boarded an uneventful flight to Miami.

Almost time to go!

22 checked bags
6 brand new goers
5 returning goers
1 Healing Haiti founder
1 Security advisor
1 Long term missionary
8 days in Haiti
I can't even begin to imagine what God plans on doing in the lives of the team and the Haitians we come into contact with.
Prayers for safety, prayers for surrender, but most of all prayers that God will make us more like him no matter what it takes.

Day 7: Purposeful

What a week.  I love the beauty of this place- in the people, the surroundings, the things God does in each of us as we come here.

Our day started earlier yesterday with breakfast and then we drove up to Titanyen for church at Grace Village.  My word of the day initially was going to be Free.  The kids were amazing.  Their hearts for God are so good and pure.  There is nothing that is self conscious or cares about what other people think.  I love the kids programming at my church because it has led both of my children to Christ and has continued to foster their faith in a way that fits them.  That said, these kids sat through a full church service for two hours, both in worship and in listening to FanFan preach.  He spoke on Mark 9:35:  Jesus sat down and called the twelve disciples tohim.  He said, "Whoever wants to be the most important must make others moreimportant than themselves.  They must serve everone else."  Almost all of the service was in Creole so I wasn't able to pull out what he said, but know he had the attention of all the children. I've said all week to the team off and on that things make my heart happy.  Seeing FanFan lead a service... my heart is so full.  God gives us each gifts-- and my goodness, has He done such a wonderful job with developing FanFan's.  I had a couple of babies fall asleep on my lap and another doing my hair from the seat behind me.  Why not, right?  After the service, we didn't spend a lot of time, but I was able to get a photo with my Ronaldo.  I just love him.  He is my boy at Grace Village.  So sweet. 
We then took a drive up the mountain.  I love this drive.  God's creativity did not miss Haiti.  The mountain is gorgeous.  We took in shopping on our way.  I have a hard time with bartering in some ways, but also really like it in others.  The creativity of these people is amazing. 
In all of our words of the day, I was thinking of words for my team as we finish out the week...

Jake- gentle giant.  He had a way with the kids.  The babies just clung to him.
Renae- Special.  What a heart this woman has for the kids as well.  She was so special.  Just a look or touch from her made the days of the babies. 
Diane- Transparent.  This woman is so wonderful.  She says what is on her heart and mind.  She is blunt, but not to a fault or that is hurtful in any way.  What I appreciate about Diane is she is an essential activator had heart.  She sees something that she doesn't like, and moves.  There are two kids and a woman in need of a matress. Not to worry. Diane is on it.  Beautiful heart.  I loved watching the progression in her through the week. 
Amy: Godsend.  Amy was a late addition to the team and she is amazing. What a heart. What a blessing.  A bosom friend.  Confidant.  Pure in heart.  Purposeful here in Haiti.  I love her. 
Bob- There isn't just one word for Bob.  So many have excuses for why they can't come, can't do something, just can't.  Bob is amazing.  He is wonderful for how he communicates without words sometimes, and makes our lives special by being in it.
Cindy- Blessed.  As a mom, it has been interesting to watch Cindy and Lauren together- a daughter leading the trip with a mother on it.  Who Lauren is shows part of who Cindy is as well- she has done such a great job with who Lauren is.  Blessed also to see Lauren in action, see what breaks her heart, see the things down here and allowing God to speak in and through her.  She is a dear soul that made the team special.
Jeni- Smile. This woman smiles with her whole heart and is just wonderful. Her heart is so good.  She has a tender heart and has a light inside her that refuses to go out.  The kids ministry at Eagle Brook gave the kids glow bracelets to remind them to be the light in a world of darkness and Amy has been that person on this trip. 
Laura- Soft/ Gentle.  The gentle heart and spirit of Laura is beautiful.  I am thrilled to know she is going into education.  I love it.  I think it's great.  Just what God made her to do. 
Carly- Joy.  She brought laughter and fun and heart into everything she did this week.  She is beautiful inside and out.  I loved how God brought her to the wound clinic and in the work with the elderly to affirm what she should be doing for her vocation.
Jerrilynn- Surrender/Courageous.  There are many things that could have kept Jerrilynn in Minnesota that were going to be challenges for the week- heat, driving, new places, new and different food... a host of things that could have prevented her from serving, but they didn't.  She loved on babies, helped with water trucks, worked through motion sickness, and immersed herself in shining a light to the people in Haiti. 
Lauren- Called.  It almost doesn't need explanation.  Lauren is doing exactly what she is meant to do and I loved watching how God uses people, but specifically her.  She is such a phenomenal person and I pray for direction for her to see exactly where God wants to use her. 
Jenn- There aren't words for who this special lady is to me.  Having experienced twice Haiti with Jenn, she just makes my heart happy.  After our first trip, she had said that she was coming back- she was going to lead and it moves me to tears how she has been obedient.  God is doing some really great things in and through her in her obedience.  I love it.  I love her. 
As for me, I can walk away from this week purposeful.  Last trip, I was not ready to go back home because it didn't feel as though we did enough-- I didn't fix it all-- I didn't make it all better and I had no idea how I could make it better or where to go from here.  This time, I have direction.  I am leaving with purpose and direction, knowing like I said yesterday, that it isn't permanent. I didn't even know if I would be back ever again a year and a half ago and this time- absolutely.  I promised Ronaldo I would be back for him. And Wilson, Nick, Brunet, Maxim, and for the babies of my heart down here- Daphne, Danah, and my self named Max in Cite Soleil.  I immediately thought of this one song... the title escapes me, but the chorus says-- "All I know is I'm not home yet... this is not where I belong." It really speaks to being in our temporary home of this Earth, but in many ways, this rings true for being here and being in Minnesota.  Minnesota is where my family and the rest of my life is but Haiti is where I find the purest form of a connection with God. 

All I know is I'm not home yet.... soon to be where the babies of my body are.  Dreaming dreams as I go home with a purpose.  Thank you to God does not seem quite adequate, but my heart is so full.  My soul is refreshed.  My spirit renewed. Glwa pou Bondye.  (Glory to God)

~Kristi

Day 6: Home

I've had the song "Dream a Little Dream of Me" stuck in my head off and on all day.  Goodness.  (see previous post for reference). 

I honestly woke up with the same migraine I had gone to bed with last night.  When/ if I get a headache I get a headache.  After writing a bit, resting and just taking things a little slowly to start the day, I went in my room and had a talk with God about how the day was going to go- with or without this going on.  I just wanted to know in case... turns out, it was to be without a headache for the day.  I can't tell you how thankful and happy it makes my heart to not have a migraine. 

Our day consisted of preparing and bringing the orphans of Grace Village to the beach.  Not a small task mind you as they out numbered us 44 to 11 team members-- I am thankful for Tory (?sp of her name- I just know she's fantastic), our three Haitian boys, Mickey, Jule, and FanFan for bringing up the number.  Once we got to Grace Village, there was the process of getting all the kids and people loaded onto the taptap and bus that had been hired to drive us.  Our first stop?  Completely full beach.  Not necessarily the safest environment for the kids with so many of them versus so few of us.  We just kept driving, stopping a few times, praying all the way, and then finding a private beach that would let us come in for what we inteded to pay.  My family used to road trip a lot, and it reminded me a little of our quest for a hotel on our Michigan trip, only add 40 more children, 20 degrees, very little breeze, and a Haitian landscape.  Also different?  Spontaneous worship of the 30 kids on the bus.  There aren't words sufficient to describe the faith and the moment of having kids break out in song singing literally Glory to God. 

Our beach time was mostly like any other- just with more kids to watch over.  It felt a bit like my summer camp days in many ways and I now understand the stress the adults had of making certain we all came out of the water.  The kids had a great time with the floaties and various water toys we had along with.  I mostly pretended to be a lifeguard of sorts- holding the line of how far out they could go and setting kids back on solid ground when they went out farther than they though for depth.  It was much more comfortable for me to supervise the play rather than engage in it, and wonderful knowing others were doing the same thing on the beach and a Bob, Tory, and I in the water.  We had lunches packed for the kids, and after eating and a little more play time, we made our way back to Grace Village. 

Haiti wouldn't be the same without a flat tire I am coming to realize.  The bus got a flat not quite half way back to Grace Village.  We pulled over to the side of the road without any water, food, or much of anything "to do" by American standards. What amazes me is the kids.  They listened and behaved and took care of each other so well.  There is very little fighting or even bickering between them and they were helping each other dress at the beach after swimming.  After about an hour and a half, we were once again on our way- having had the taptap come back for us.  I am still amazed and laugh a little at how many people the Haitians are used to having crammed into one of these things. We weren't even close to full with the kids by Haitian standards, but my goodness, by American standards?  Very crowded and not the smoothest of roads.  I felt like I was continually falling on Nick (which is probably better than the two boys sitting next to me as I stood).  I wish I could bring back the "go with the flow" of Haiti into my every day life.  Beach is too crowded? That's ok. We just keep driving.  Flat tire?  That's ok. We'll have a game of keep away.  Thirsty kids?  There's a roadside stop with water bags available to purchase.  Get somewhere late?  We're on Haiti time- when I get there I'll get there.  A small car could fit in some of the pot holes (using that loosely) here. 

Home:  I am feeling as if it's ok to leave here because I'll be back to my second home in Haiti again sooner rather than later again this time.  Home.  Haiti feels like a home here.  It's where God meets me, meets us, and does some really great things.  Home.  I am still choked up that Grace Village is home to the orphans.  They have one finally.  Home.  While I miss my Caribou, it will be a while before I am able to do some things again... and maybe that is what I give up.  The money I spend on coffee could be so much better utilized down here.  Conviction of stewardship is coming back strong this time.  Home.  I miss my kids.  I have seen Chase and Chloe in each of the kids here- each day has shown a child that reminded me of both of them and I want little else than to see them.... perfection of sorts would be to have them here with me, but not yet. 

Song of the day: Strong Enough by Matthew West

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us
Thank You Lord for making us strong.  Making us able to do work.  Providing enough for the day.  Stretching us to do what is uncomfortable here to bring You glory and fulfill what you have created us for.  My heart is so full of thanks, praise, and glory in what you have done in us, through us, and will continue to do as we return home.  May we each keep what you have shown our hearts and minds.  I pray each of us will be moved to action, myself in need of the most help, for what breaks your heart.  I love and praise you Lord. 

Amen and Amen. 

See you at home. 

~Kristi

Day 5: Dream

Many days, my blogs come through as a way to just communicate my heart and mind- a part of the process.  Today, my words come from a distict prayer for strength and courage to speak out loud (on paper) pieces that have been on my heart for a long time. 
Our day started in Cite Soleil.  We made two stops with the water truck.  The weather has been really warm down here.  While this doesn't bother me, it has been too warm for some on the team at times.  More importantly though, it is too warm for the Haitians.  Having every so often been in a period of need on an American level, I understand to some degree the panic that sets in when you have no idea when the next provision will come.  For them, it was water.  The first stop we made was more desperate than they had been on Tuesday for water.  I don't know why outside of the rain factor that would impact this for these people.  "Respekte liy lan"  (respect the line) was a common phrase we were saying today, and at times shouting a bit to be heard.  Liy Lan ended up being the shortened form of it.... but this is where I have a huge amount of grace and patience.  To not know or understand or have fear of not having enough is exceptionally difficult to wade through, especially with children. I have never been in want like they have, but I have feared how I was going to be able to take care of my children in these years of single motherhood.  I climbed onto the top of the water truck to gain additional photos of the landscape in some ways.  Our second stop was Cite 17.  This was my first stop here in Haiti in the field a year and a half ago. Cite 17 is really hard for everyone simply because you see homes built on trash.  There is a trash walk of sorts bringing you out to the coast line.  The poverty is overwhelming, but at the same time, you see and experience each child being so selfless.  They get so concerned about where we're stepping or if we get dirty that they try to clean us off.  I have noticed this now twice at this stop in particular.  It is amazing these children.  There is so much more that could be said, and perhaps should be said, but it is almost impossible to describe the people versus the surroundings adequately.

After the two water truck deliveries, we had time to go for a quick swim in the pool.  I was able to connect with Jenn for a bit today and in this connection, speak about what Haiti has meant and what I am leaving with my second time down here.  Jenn told me of this book she read- the Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkenson.  It is an essential parable of a man who has been given this dream and is told by many he cannot and should not persue this dream.  Instead, he does just that, overcoming obstacles and on his own.  (Ironically or not so much, I read the words to Oh The Places You'll Go this morning too.  For real.) I told her of some of my dreams and things I hope to bring to Haiti- making things to go in the TapTap to make it at least a little more comfortable, figuring out how to be specific in raising funds for the water truck, self-sufficiency at the guesthouse or at Grace Village or in the community of Titanyen.  Ideas.  I ws telling her of dreams that scare me for what they could mean back home.  Since high school, it has been on my heart to build an orphanage.  I don't know the need.  I don't know the legalities.  I know nothing outside of this burning to see to it that every child has a bed, a meal, clothes, and a chance for opportunity to change what may otherwise be a pre-destined outcome of living on the streets.  I have this gut feeling that while there are really great people that have done just this, that there are many more who are without these basic needs being met.  Seeing where the children live here, I can no longer sit back and be ok with children at home having nothing when we have so much and so many ways to fix that problem.  There is not a way for me to change the housing of the probably thousands of children in Cite Soleil.  I refuse to believe children in Minnesota have to live the same way. 

Our day finished out with a trip to the Home for Sick and Dying, dinner, a trip to market for a few, and word of the day.  I talked with a mother, through Wilson, at the Home for Sick and Dying and heard her story.  It is one that we would or could be quick to judge, but at the same time, I found myself telling her she was a good mother and clearly cared for her children to even be at the Home for Sick and Dying.  Little Daphne was so cute-- under weight and very small for being 18 months, but this momma made my heart happy to be doing something about it. 

I don't often share the words of other teammates, but have to share this great story.  One of the team woke up feeling really sick and essentially hurting.  She was looking to still go out- really feeling like she was supposed to- but praying for how she was going to be able to.  A group of us prayed over her- asking for God to remove where the devil may be getting in-- also for a host of angels to come down and protect and heal her- remove where she was unwell and during the prayer, her stomach no longer hurt.  She took medication with her for the rest of the day, and she was fine the rest of the day.  God can work miracles.  God can send His angels down.  God can do anything.  Anything.  Amazing what God will do.  I still recognize the answer sometimes is no, but I don't doubt the goodness of God to bring about the desires of His children if we ask and it is part of His good and perfect plan.  God is so good. 

The song yesterday was "Take my life and let it be... all for You and for Your glory.  Take my life and let it be Yours.  Glory to God.  Glory to God...." God, we give you glory and praise and honor for miracles worked, healing performed, broken hearts, teams that grow close, hugs and comfort as we walk through what you're trying to teach us here, and dreams that are given that you don't let die.  In all these things, let us constantly strive to do your will and have the courage to step out boldly knowing You qualify the called not call the qualified.  Your Word speaks to that over and over.  Please continue to move in and through us as we finish out our week here. 

Take my life and let it be all for You and Your glory. 
Amen and Amen. 

Day Four: Fulfilled

I feel like a broken record of sorts with my posts, but I love it here.  I know that sounds and seems foreign to many, but to that end.... I would say come.  See it once.  You may not love it- it may not be your passion or what God has called you for, but I haven't met someone that says a trip to Haiti was a waste.  Many say they can see why people that have gone before will speak of Haiti with love. 

My word for yesterday was Fulfilled.  Our day began like any other- I was back in the kitchen, which I think is what made the day "feel" right for me down here.  My previous trip, I spent much time in the kitchen helping with breakfast or dinner, so not doing that a lot this time was (my first word was tough) different.  We spent more time just preparing to be ready as Jenn met with others for possible connections for future teams in Haiti. 

We drove out to Titanyen yesterday.  The first leg of our journey brought us to the mass grave sites for those who died in the earthquake as well as from the cholera outbreak that followed.  It is said about 300,000 are buried there.  To be standing in the midst of a place of great loss and then look out to see nothing but beauty felt in some ways very contradictory and in others, just right that as part of a final resting place, they were given peace. 

Our next stop brought us to one of the schools Healing Haiti supports.  They were off from school when we got there- it is flag day today- but we were given a tour of the school and spoke with Jean Garrie (? Sp. I spelled it phonetically kind of).  I love the tenacity of the Haitians.  They will do everything possible to see to it their children have an education, including college, and then have an employment rate of about 10%.  They continue to press forward with dreams and goals, and how they hope it to be.  I wish we could all have and see the gift of pursuing something with your whole heart and being.  We too often, and myself the most guilty, expect for someone else to love and nourish and grow our dreams of what we would like to accomplish, forgetting that we have all we need in front of us to make this happen. We are not living in poverty.  We have grants and loans and an economy that will support a dream that has enough energy behind it.  Will that mean perfection and a smooth road?  No.  But my goodness.... we have a leg up simply by having the blessing of being American. 

Next (busy day!) we drove to the elderly Healing Haiti cares for.  The expected life expectancy down here is about 52 (which means I would be without my dad, two sets of grandparents, or have memories and know any of my great grandparents).  In having such a short life expectancy though, many of the elderly are in a place of almost being orphaned themselves- they have a medical condition or age that leave them in a position of great difficulty to care for themselves.  We brought food and water to five different people, and all of them beautiful.  I was in the tent for a couple, and rubbed lotion on the legs of a woman who has a couple of bumps that are causing her pain.  I dreamt of my doctor being down here last night to tell me what was wrong with her.  We prayed over each of them, thanking God for them, the light they bring, and joy in their hearts amidst dire circumstances. 

Our day ended with our trip to Grace Village.  This was Alyn Shannon's dream for her Haiti.  In my words, that there would be a place of beauty to care for the orphaned children and community of Titanyen.  They have a boys and girls house, a feeding center that will/is being used as a school, and are building a fish pond that will also water the greenhouse.  I have a heart for self-sufficiency as passed down from my parents, so having their own ecosystem to care for them makes my heart so full.  They also have a playground and an area to play soccer. It is my understanding they will also have a space for the elderly to be brought here that are in need of a higher level of care.  When I was here before, this was just concrete structures, no windows, doors, finishes, paint, or kids.  It is amazing to see the tangible structure of one woman's dream.  I had asked last time the question over and over what God was trying to teach me in all this because that was her question.  My heart is so full to see this built and "done".  A ministry is never really done expanding and building, but like I said, what they have is tangible evidence of one couple's heart and vision.  Alyn, your heart must be bursting to see what God has blessed your dream with. 

Fulfilled.  For many reasons.  My first is the fulfilled dream of Alyn Shannon.  How amazing.  How wonderful.  How perfect.  The tangible evidence that one person can make a difference on the world.  Grace Village is a real place.  Thank you dear Lord for your hand on this ministry to see their dreams come to life.  Beautiful.  Overwhelming.  And perfect.  Fulfilled.  We filled the needs for a day- even if it was just one day- for each of the elderly we visited.  It may just be for a day, a moment, but it is more than if we hadn't come at all.  Fulfilled.  My heart.  I have struggled since being here with not being able to fix it all.  To put America into how to make Haiti better in my eyes.  The thing is... Haiti has always been better.  They have struggles and misery, but then so do we back home.  They just don't have all the stuff to clutter seeing God for who He is.  To be able to wholeheartedly rely on Him for enough for the day.  To be ok with what God intended to be enough.  Fulfilled.  My purpose.  God has given me such peace in this trip- this journey.  To have a willing heart to know I can do something.  To have God show me so many things in how I can share this Haiti with the rest in my world and those I am to meet yet.  I don't know when. I don't know how.  I know very little outside that this is my haven where God meets me.  Or perhaps, when I meet God- completely unencumbered by the rest of what I have to do.  God just shows me where and what I am to be for the day.  My heart is so full.  I am anxious to go out again today knowing I will be back.  A peace that surpasses understanding is what I prayed for even in my blog three days ago.  Dear Lord- you are the provider of every good and perfect thing.  I love this. 

And last but not least- the song for the day-- Overcome.  It's a new one we are singing at church. 
______________________________________________________________
Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever,awesome and great is Your name, You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome
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Dear Lord.  For all that we are.  For all that we have.  For all that you are.  For everything You are able to do and overcome in and through us to do Your work.  Thank you.  My heart will never be the same with a renewed purpose.  We can overcome these things that break your heart through what You can do alone.  I love and praise You. 

Final day in Haiti

This journey has finally come to an end and it saddens me. I never would of thought I would ever do something as amazing as this trip. I met a group of awesome ladies and you cant forget Bob!! Only staying for three whole days seems like I have been here for way longer and I wish I could stay and help more people and bring more smiles to the young little children that made this trip even 10 times better. I have always liked little kids but the way that they act and how happy they get to see you is a really good feeling. As we drove through the street they all would say "Hey you". Every single one and it felt like we were celebrities. I felt like we were in a different world everything was the complete opposite as home. I thought it was so weird that all the little kids would just rome the streets with no parents in sight but on the flipside all of them would always want to be around you and wanted you to hold them and love them. I never though I could have so much fun with them and I wasnt even able to speak to them which was the wierd part.

Day one was by far my favorite day from waking up in the morning and going right into the heart of the city. The first stop was the busiest one of the day and we stayed there for the longest. The thing I liked about every stop to that we did was there was about three of four kids that would cling onto you right when you got out of the van. Also no matter how little the kid was, if you needed to hold the hose or move the buckets out of the way they would try and help and i have never seen anything like it. They would follow;me around everywhere and I absolutly loved it. All of the kids on the first day were the ones who made the trip the best part of the whole thing and they will never leave my mind. Overall, seeing what I've seen will make me more forturnate for what we have to go back to and i will never have more fun with any other kids then the ones that I have had the pleasure of playing with and I am forever greatful for having that opportunity.

Jake  

Complete

Wow.  My word for the day is complete.  Leaving here in February I felt a bit incomplete.  The elderly broke my heart and I wished I could come back and put that heart back together.  That is what happened today. 

Visiting Edmund and being able to pray with him (well, kinda pray... lots of tears fell on the muddy floor), made my visit complete.  We brought the elderly food, water and prayers.  It is amazing to see how impacted they are by one small meal and some love.  We take food and housing for granted.  Thank you Lord for putting moments in my life like today to help me realize how blessed I am. 

Amy

Day Four: Emotions (Cindy)

How can I put into words the emotions I felt after visiting a mass grave site, going to visit and bring medicine, food, water and love to the poorest of the elderly in Haiti,  and then driving through the
streets of Haiti to visit orphaned children at the beautiful Grace Village? So much in one day - we were all pretty emotionally spent at the end of the day. To say I am making a "small" difference is the truth - it is very small-in a place that needs so much help.  But that's what God calls us to do- to just step out and try to make a difference - have faith in Him and He will provide the rest.  Before I left and at the start of the week, I questioned myself - Why am I doing this?  Today, my answers came.  To see the
beautiful brown eyes looking at you with hope and the love that pours from these people because you brought them water, food and a hug is amazing to say the least.  I never understood why people did this, or why they become so passionate about it - I get it now...

Day Three: Optimistic

Oh my.... I love this place.  I just do. 

Today started with a little something we call church.  Haiti style.  Couldn't understand a thing, but they know how to worship.  Hallelujah is universal and just as powerful sung silently, in a traditional country church, a contemporary mega-church, or through the speakers blaring in Port au Prince.  The worship is beautiful.  They pray for each other with reckless abandon- turned together holding hands almost shouting their prayers for how passionate they are.  If nothing else, the experience to worship with reckless abandon has struck a deep cord.  I had the privilege to pray for one Miss Amy who has become a bosom friend as Anne of Green Gables so eloquently put it.  She came in place of someone else, and with all that is in me knows and recognizes the hand of God in this.  She has been such a blessing to me as a relator in having been here for a second trip as well. 

After breakfast, we packed up to go to Gertrude's. It is my understanding that in Haiti, the children with special needs- be it a physical or mental handicap (among completely healthy children) often are dropped at hospitals because they cannot be cared for otherwise.  Because the hospitals do not have the means to care for these children, it can mean that they just won't.  Enter Gertrude.  She is a nun who visits the hospitals and rescues these babies (using the word loosely as my children at almost 9 and 11 are my "babies").  The thought of being or parenting a special needs child takes a certain amount of skill and capability.  In a poverty stricken country?  Near impossible to adequately care for each of these kids.  This has otherwise before been an experience I somewhat stayed shut to.  It is outside my comfort zone, so I thought I would be content just taking pictures.  Best laid plans when on a mission trip meant to stretch and break and be uncomfortable means God has a way different idea of what this would be.  I was grabbed onto and climbed up by a little boy who held on for all he was worth today.  I did get some picture taking in, but it was not how I imagined.  What I saw was an amazing team once again.  Cindy, Renae, and Carly have such sweet hearts for the babies.  It is so powerful to watch them lose themselves here and allow God to work in them.  Pretty powerful stuff. 

We had a break around lunch time which turned into swimming for the team and time to decompress before the rest of the afternoon.  The water felt wonderful and the break was a nice one.  After time swimming and together (technology free), we prepared for the Home for Sick and Dying Babies. 

The last trip here, going to this place was the toughest place for me.  I hurt so badly having misunderstood the mortality rate there. I was pleasantly corrected that it is actually quite low and they are able to restore health to many of the malnourished children who come in.  It isn't perfect, but it is much better than their circumstances otherwise might be.  I am so thankful for each of these nuns and their life of service.  They are, in their own right, amazing people. I held a little boy once we first arrived, went into the room of baby girls, and then went downstairs. The downstairs holds the babies that are in need of medical care- some are in rather serious condition, others are in fair to stable condition.  I was approached by a nun who just looked at me and said -- here- she's crying to be held.  After a time rocking the little girl while standing, Wilson, one of the Healing Haiti men, had me come outside since it was cooler out there. And there I sat.  With Daniah who is four.  And weighs about the same as my year and half old nephew, Noah.  My heart breaks at how little they are... but in all of this, my word of optimistic rings through. 

In a country known for the poverty and poor conditions, there are children who need help- the sick, the orphaned, the least of these that Christ talks about.  But from these conditions, hope springs eternal.  There is the possiblity of adoption for them.  And right now?  Their needs are being met.  They are getting medical care.  They are getting fed.  Bathed.  Diaper changes.  And held by people who come simply to hold and love on them.  Some of them have mothers that come, but that are unable to medically or physically care for them.  In their visits, they too will love on and hold their babies. What is so interesting to me is that they would give up their children if it meant the kids could in fact come to the US.  The love them enough to give them up, time and again, to not see them in sacrifice of the babies having a better future.  We hold so tightly to our children, perhaps that is the lesson God is trying to teach us all.  What am I holding so tightly that others would freely give in order that that thing could prosper? Flourish? What are each of us clinging to so hard that we are suffocating what could be as perfect and beautiful as a rose in bloom?  What needs letting go? 

Optimism springs hope eternal for this place.  For what God might do in each of us.  For what God may use the words of the others here and the stories to come back.  For the desires of each of our hearts, minds, and what He has perfectly planned and called us all to do. I am so thankful for the confirmation of the called for this week. 

PS-- the soundtrack for the day?  "Tell me.... once again... who I am to you... who I am to you.  Tell me... lest I forget...I belong to you.  To You."  Jason Gray.  Remind Me Who I Am. 

Be blessed at home.  Be blessed here.  Hope springs eternal in the promises of the Father who will never forget that you are His.  Created. Called. Loved.  Saved. His. 

~Kristi

Completely Covered

How does one begin to explain the love they have for a place and a people that so few get to experience?
How do you put into words the way God is moving in my life as well as these amazing servants I am here with this week?
I sometimes cant think of what to say or do but God is always right there completely covering me with His love, strength, grace, wisdom, peace and a purpose for my life.
I feel complete, whole, full, alive and many other emotions when I get to come to this beautiful country and fully surrender my life to His will. I have learned through my past experience and this one that God is always moving, always working and always delivering just what we need when we need it. If you let Him move in you and through you only amazing things will happen.
What a blessing it is to serve Him here and ALL glory, honor and praise to Him who is SO great!

-Lauren