Thursday, May 16, 2013

One of the least of these...



Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Matt 15:40

The attitude I try to have in Haiti is letting go of any expectation, crossing over any limits I think I have and overcome any fears that come my way. (I failed at the fear part when we saw a tarantula this morning. Praise God for brave cooks who kill spiders). J

We started the day by going to Gertrude’s, an orphanage for children with special needs. Christine was a little toddler that walked towards me and didn’t let go of me for one second (pictures will come eventually; we’ve had some difficulties with our photos). She was so hungry for love and I gave her all the love I could for the time we were there. I could talk a lot about Gertrude’s but there’s a different story I want to focus on today.

In the afternoon we were supposed to go to the general hospital but often time plans change in Haiti. We instead went to the hospital for sick and dying babies. That was my breaking point last trip and wasn’t sure what to expect this time.

As I started walking through the cribs I was waiting for God’s tug on my heart for one specific baby. It’s always so hard to choose one to hold… I usually go to the quiet ones, knowing that those are the babies that are held the least. All the way in the back corner, there was this precious angel that was lying in her crib without moving. As I got closer I noticed lots of ants crawling all over her little face. She was trying to scratch her face but she didn’t have enough strength. I started cleaning the ants off her and as I was doing that, I noticed her genitals were covered in open wounds and tens of ants were crawling all over her. In panic mode I pointed to one of the nurses who didn’t look surprised at all. She came, turned the girl on her tummy, revealing even more open wounds and told me she is sick and I have to leave her alone. And that was it! That was all I could do.

I had to walk away from a helpless little angels, who must have been in pain and uncomfortable… A baby girl who probably hasn’t been held in a very long time. A baby girl starved for love and human touch. And all I could fell was pain. So much pain! I had to walk outside, I was losing it.  That place breaks me every time.

With each tear I’ve shed today God has, once again, confirmed that I am exactly where I need to be. This is what I was created for.

I am still processing this experience. I found a little boy I held for the rest of the time we were there. One who grabbed on to me with a lot of strength and was determined not to let go. I melt when faced with a child so desperate for love, attention and human touch. And I pray that as I hold them, kiss them and play with them I can give them a glimpse of Christ's love for them. 

It was hard to let go. It was heart breaking not being able to do more. But I know there's a reason why I was there today, seeing this little girl. And I will keep praying that God continues to open my eyes to everything He's got in store for me. I will continue to pray that I will be filled to the measure with the fullness of Christ, that I learn to listen to God's voice, leading me to do His will. And nothing more! 

Please pray as I am trying to make sense of everything...
Bianca

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

T E A M

God has taken my outlook on the word TEAM to his calling and no more of my own! Hand picked, everyone on this team is here for a specific reason overflowing my heart with pure Joy! As our hearts break together, as our eyes are fixed on Him, our hands feeling His creation, our feet walking for Jesus and Him alone, and our words speaking His love and true grace that only He can give us...We are making up the body of Christ. Have you ever felt so close to Christ you could just reach out and touch His face? I can...right now.

<3
Cne'

"As we handle the sick and needy we touch the suffering body of Christ and this touch will make us heroic; it will make us forget the repugnance and the natural tendencies in us. We need the eyes of deep faith to see Christ in the broken body and dirty clothes under which the most beautiful one among the sons of men hides. We shall need the hands of Christ to touch these bodies wounded by pain and suffering. Intense love does not measure - it just gives."

-Mother Teresa-

Mwen grangou= I am hungry!



Nothing I will write here will do justice to the way I feel… But here’s my attempt to showing you my broken heart.

Today was water truck day.  What broke my heart today wasn’t the garbage we were surrounded by, it wasn’t the little children walking on rocks and glass barefoot, it wasn’t the strong smell of sewer and garbage that almost made me gag, it wasn't seeing a little cat that was some day going to be someone's dinner...(I love animals)

It was one statement from a little boy saying “Mwen grangou! (I am hungry!)”

Two simple words in Haitian that shredded my heart to pieces, yet again. I could do nothing! Absolutely nothing about this little child being hungry. So many of them are constantly hungry and we just can’t meet all that need.

I can’t help but wonder when is the last time some of these people didn’t feel hungry? When did they eat their last meal? And how can I feel so heartbroken about all this now and go back to my life in US and throw away even an ounce of food? Do we even know what being hungry really means? I don’t know about you but when I am hungry, I eat. That is not often an option for a lot of the people here.

God, what are you trying to teach me??? What is my part in all this??? Open my eyes, break my heart, use me for Your glory!!

And so today I loved on these kids like never before. I held them, spun them around, sang with them, danced with them and kissed them like never before. I didn’t care they were dirty and naked…all I cared about was the little hands stretched up high, the little eyes filled with pain, their little frail bodies, often times covered with small or big wounds. For a few minutes I tried to make them feel like they were the most important in the world because when I was holding them, they were the most important in the world, to me!

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  Please continue to pray as tomorrow we will be going to a new hospital. Prayers for God’s protection, for us to stay healthy, for courage to serve in circumstances that will most likely take us far outside our comfort zone. We are here to be His hands and feet. Pray for the strength to do just that.

To God be the glory!!

Bianca

Mwen grangou= I am hungry!



Nothing I will write here will do justice to the way I feel… But here’s my attempt to showing you my broken heart.

Today was water truck day.  What broke my heart today wasn’t the garbage we were surrounded by, it wasn’t the little children walking on rocks and glass barefoot, it wasn’t the strong smell of sewer and garbage that almost made me gag, it wasn't seeing a little cat that was some day going to be someone's dinner...(I love animals)

It was one statement from a little boy saying “Mwen grangou! (I am hungry!)”

Two simple words in Haitian that shredded my heart to pieces, yet again. I could do nothing! Absolutely nothing about this little child being hungry. So many of them are constantly hungry and we just can’t meet all that need.

I can’t help but wonder when is the last time some of these people didn’t feel hungry? When did they eat their last meal? And how can I feel so heartbroken about all this now and go back to my life in US and throw away even an ounce of food? Do we even know what being hungry really means? I don’t know about you but when I am hungry, I eat. That is not often an option for a lot of the people here.

God, what are you trying to teach me??? What is my part in all this??? Open my eyes, break my heart, use me for Your glory!!

And so today I loved on these kids like never before. I held them, spun them around, sang with them, danced with them and kissed them like never before. I didn’t care they were dirty and naked…all I cared about was the little hands stretched up high, the little eyes filled with pain, their little frail bodies, often times covered with small or big wounds. For a few minutes I tried to make them feel like they were the most important in the world because when I was holding them, they were the most important in the world, to me!

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  Please continue to pray as tomorrow we will be going to a new hospital. Prayers for God’s protection, for us to stay healthy, for courage to serve in circumstances that will most likely take us far outside our comfort zone. We are here to be His hands and feet. Pray for the strength to do just that.

To God be the glory!!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Day 1: Grateful!!



My word of the day is gratefulness. My heart is overflowing with gratefulness today!!!

For years I have been praying for God to reveal my passion to me, my purpose and His will for my life. When I came to Haiti, just three months ago, it was obvious from the first day that I had found my passion. I spent a week in Haiti that shredded my heart to pieces; a week that was filled with heart ache, joy, love, compassion and revelation of my holy discontent.  

And today, I am privileged to be back on Haitian ground. As soon as we got to the guesthouse we were pleasantly surprised when our translator and our driver took us on a walk around the neighborhood (due to safety reasons we don’t always get this privilege). The neighborhood children joined us on our walk right away. Toulsy is a 12 year old boy that walked by my side and helped me learn a little bit of Creole. What a joy was it to see the smiling faces of these amazing people!!!

As we were walking, Toulsy pointed to one of his friends and told me that his parents have both died and that he can’t afford to attend school. The little boy asked one of my team mates if she would be his mom.

It’s times like this that break my heart…Thinking of a little boy who doesn’t have anyone to call mom and dad, a boy who watches his friends every morning heading out to school as he is left behind, a boy with a desire to grow and potential that might never be revealed just because he was born in Haiti and his parents have passed away.  Did he just happen to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time God?

And then God reminds me of Jeremiah 29:11:For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future(The verse is written on the back of the Tap Tap we travel in while in Haiti- how convenient! Grateful when He speaks so clearly!!)



One of the things I love most about Haiti is that these people get it. This life is not the end of the story. The destination is a wonderful place that Jesus is preparing for us. And they hold on to that hope every day. What a reward will they receive in Heaven!!!

Thank you God for a beautiful ending: eternity in a place with no sorrow, no pain and no mourning. To God be the glory! And give us strength Papa to hold on to this hope every moment of our lives! 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Day 5. Familiar Places

Water Stops--Today we did two water truck stops, one of them we hadn't been there to yet this week. Today the need for water seemed to be more than two days ago as the lines were longer. We also ran out of water at the last stop. We loved on the kids and helped fill buckets. It is always amazing to see the strength of the young girls and women as they carry these 5 gallon buckets to their home, mostly on their heads.


Home for Sick and Dying.
We visited the Home for the Sick and Dying again today. All of us were happy to have the chance to revisit our babies that we made friendships with a few days ago. The babies seemed to recognize us, and reached their arms out right away for us to pick them up, feed them and give them more love.

Day 4. Thursday - A Day of Firsts!

Attended service at the tent church at 6am...a glorious way to start the day!





We were the 1st team ever to visit Redempter School. During our visit, we handed out 600 pieces of bubble gum...it was a hit, despite the fact that we were rather disruptive to the entire school.





As you can see, John fit right in with the kindergartners.....





On the back of the Kubato (all terrain ATV) as we prepare to visit the elderly.

The gentleman in the fore front (with the glasses) is Coco, who is the freelance journalist from Paris, France. He has been an "honorary" team member since we arrived in Haiti and is capturing our mission in photo format. He hopes the article he writes from the trip will eventually lead to a book. The best part is, he has agreed to share his photos with the entire team. On an average, he snaps nearly 500 pictures per day!!





We would love to introduce you to Elie. He is the newest addition to the Healing Haiti ElderCare program. He is severly malnourished and dehydrated and sleeps on a sheet on the dirt floor. We delivered his first meals on wheels today. We brought him sardines, applesauce and water. We also, as a team pitched in to purchase him a matress and pillow so he no longer needs to sleep on the dirt floor. Praise God that he allows us to be his hands and feet to this man!!!





Upon arriving at Elie's house John was once again drawn to his granddaughters 7 month old son. The men all later went and filled 7 buckets from a nearby well to provide the family with 35 gallons of fresh water. John's timing was perfect as this young boy later proceeded to pee on Jenna one of our team members.




Team photo at the ocean.





The mass burial memorial. It has been 3 years since the devastating earthquake. It is on this spot where 300,000 Haitian's are buried in a mass grave following the quake.





On the way back to the guest house. Tired, emotionally spent....yet so filled with all the blessings from the day.